Tuesday, April 22, 2008

insert foot (accompanied by large leather boot) in mouth

What I really mean to say is, can't someone understand the random, confusing, nonsensical, musical, often times, irrational, RAMBLINGS that go 'round and stir in my brain during one day? It's a lot to take for a gal like me. Not to be a Debbie Downer, but, it would be great if I could conceptualize something in my brain and express it completely accurately. Ha. Maybe that's what the arts are for. A non traditional way of explaining things abstractly because there is really no other way to do it. That's what laughter, tears, morning bird sounds, and the sweet smelling flowers must be. A way to define abstractly, even eloquently. There is a book I read in elementary school, and in it, the author related loneliness to a balloon drifting, almost strong enough to lightly bounce, losing its helium in a living room. I think it's pretty accurate. It's not that I am lonely, DON'T get me wrong. Great friends, satisfying laughs, good wine, and supportive family. It's just that sometimes moving along, drifting silently and without emotion, is lonely. I'm not a powerful person. I hate debates and I don't always speak my mind. Not necessarily a strong point. Maybe assertion, being more direct, would solve that. A way to live with a point, a direction in sight. Somehow though, I still prefer strong silence. Just being content with oneself and having strong beliefs. I doubt I will ever be the person to hammer down a fight in order to win. I guess I want a little more helium, a little more bounce in my step.

Life's interesting. :)

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