in love with love.

"Tinkerbell: You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you, Peter Pan. That's where I'll be waiting." -Peter Pan quote

I love the quotation above because it describes exactly how I think love should be. Love needs to be raw. None of that "love is patient, love is kind" crap, but the real stuff that makes you want to wake up every morning and embrace the world. Love should encompass emotions in all of their brutality, no matter how amazing or horrible that may be. But, love should also be slightly ethereal. Holding hands, a first kiss, or a mother looking at her newborn child are just a few ways to kindle that kind of magic that makes the world such a mystical place. Love is so rare. Or it is present, and no one is grabbing hold of it, or opening themselves up to it. When it comes to LOVE, I am blessed with family and friends who love me and accept me for all that I am. And I love them so tenderly. I think out of all the LOVES, self-love may just be one continuous work in progress, like a few random words on a page, waiting for the rest of the story to be written.

As cheesy as it may seem, I think the saddest form of love, unrequited love, may have taught me the most about myself and love. In this previous unhealthy relationship, I saw particular things and created a life revolved around those things. I settled. I didn't accept the matter at hand and took the less fulfilling path. Everything else, everything true, was hidden, suppressed, and I was too ignorant. Leaving love, or the love I wanted so deeply to have, was like not being able to sing. For me, simply impossible. But when the love was finally broken, it was as if in some crazy sense, part of me was reborn. I began to cling to whatever self I had left. I started to remember what stirred inside of my brain and what wanted to jump out from my heart. I had stumbled along a dark path only to find a strong beam of light. And, as one form of love ended, another form blossomed. Self-love. To embrace myself fully and believe in myself for the first time, was love. I feel like I finally get it.


Oh LOVE. :)